Llama Wrangling 101

If you find yourself puking due to the stench of a cud ball having coated your face at 20 mph, you may have just met your first llama.

If you have ever had the audacity to walk up to a llama and grab for its face and or ears just to find yourself knocked over backwards and being dry humped, you might have just met your first llama.

If you have ever run outside in your underwear in the middle of winter because you heard bloodcurdling screams and were sure that somebody was being tortured in your pasture and later discovered your llamas were just having another fight, you definitely have llamas.

I love llamas, not many of the folks I worked with liked them though or knew how to handle them. So typically when Denkai would get a llama call it would be to the point where the llama was going to be shot because they could not be caught and loaded and on top of that, where could they be housed?

One particular case I was called to involved a local sheriff’s department who was seizing a llama that had been abandoned on property with no water or food in the middle of winter.  I was running a bit behind not taking things too seriously, after all it was just another day in the field. Little did I know and little had they told me that we were dealing with a criminal who was very unpredictable and might show up at any moment.

I finally arrived on scene to three animal control vehicles, and at least a dozen detective and police officers.  All for a llama..Ya that should have been my first clue.  Not one of them had rounded up the llama lol I had to giggle to myself. So I walk up to this llama, halter him and hook the lead rope up.  He obviously had not be worked with much and was not a fan of being led to the trailer. It was a battle of my pulling, his resistance and then giant hops until we got to the trailer in which he hopped right in..go figure.

I was summoned to court to testify against this man and having arrived, learned that he had been threatening the lives of the individuals who had spoken up for the llama and saved its life. He was threatening the officers as well and had been showing up on doorsteps. He was armed and had friends who were backing him.  He did not know where the llama was being housed thankfully or we could have had a different outcome. Thankfully on this day he had had himself committed. I’m sure it was a tactic to avoid court.

Needless to say, the case did not go well and the county did not win against this man, yet another technicality that put yet another animal back into the hands of a criminal.  So I get the call that this in-tact male llama that I had so many plans for, including castrating him had to be returned.

The owner of the llama was now calling my facilities, threatening my employees and wanted to know where I was located so that he could have his llama back. So I talked with him and told him I would meet him at a local stockyard and return his llama. I arranged for the local sheriff to meet me as well so that I had back up.  One of my board members rode along as well.

I decided that the best thing I could do would be to get to the stockyard earlier, unload the llama and have him ready for pick up in one of the pens.  By now it was dark.  We unloaded the llama and I positioned my truck and trailer facing out so that we did not have to exit the vehicle and could gun it if we had to.  Did I mention the sheriff I had been speaking with decided to blow us off? YUP This llama dude had a record ten miles long, was a known criminal, scary as heck and the sheriff knew him and STILL didn’t show up for us.  I was PISSED.

Anyway, after a bit, here comes crazy llama dude with his posse of people. They pull up next to us with video cameras, guns and flashlights. I simply rolled down my window, told him that the llama was in the pen and we were leaving.  He then jumps in front of my rig as I started the truck. Like WTF was he thinking??  I just gunned it, figured he would move or he wouldn’t not my problem either way.  He moved pretty quickly actually, worked out well for both of us I’d say.

Needless to say I don’t think my board member will ever go out on another rescue adventure with me again lol.

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